LA LA LA

so this weekend was kinda upsetting- i think i might have CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome)  again, which is no fun b/c all i want to do is sleep, the internet went out @ raiders pass so i spent a good amount of time @ the library working on my speech, but on the bright side i'm going to houston to see MY MOST FAVORITEST LAUREN on Aug. 7th, and then we might be going to flordia shortly thereafter, which is absolutely FABULOUS and makes me want to be like lauren & sing LA LA LAAAAAAAAAA!!! 
 
Corries friends came in town this weekend and the best way for me to describe them is : the exact opposite of me!! they were very nice, but what i call crazy fun (just being our goofy silly, good clean fun selves) was so calm and low-key in comparison to what these houston girls call fun- i suppose its just b/c of that dern sheltered life i lived in the "Stepford-esque" plano. . .i talked to daddy & dun-dun last night, hes got a new girlfriend (preston that is), shes a Sr. in HS and hes a jr, which i think is kinda weird, but i imagine shes a really nice girl ("avery, is it odd for your brother to take out 3 girls in 10 days"- YES DAD THATS NOT NORMAL!!!)  i think the 2 of them are coming to LBK the weekend after rush, and bringing our MASSIVE TV, which we all know lindsay & i will never leave b/c we'll be playing tetris or mario ALL DAY. . .haha. . .in other news. . .
 
i was reading mere christianity (C.S. Lewis) again b/c it is so profoundly deep that it is still difficult to comprehend and i read this and it really has me thinking. . .it says. . .
 
"We all want progress.  But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be.  And if you have taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer.  If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man." (28, Lewis)
 
And so my little Avery mind starts ticking and thinking about this-if i'm trying to get somewhere in my life and i've made a wrong turn (which i know of course i have), then all the so called "progress" is actually being sedentary and basically of no worth, thus i have to turn around go back fix where i turned wrong and then press onward-WOW, sounds like alot of work, but ultimately i think its the going back and fixing the mistakes that heighten the value of what will eventually be progress.  This weekend i spent alot of time thinking about all these issues i have and how i've got to get back on the road and start fixing them b/c who knows i could be gone before i finish writing this and i would have so many loose ends. . .When clara was  here we talked about dying, and thats something i've never been afraid of, even after we lost brooke & the rest of the gray family, i was never afraid of it, but not in an eerie sort of way- in the way that its going to be this undescribable time where i'm going to see the face of God & its going to be astounding- i suppose if someone said they were anticipating death people might find that strange, but i think that it is something that we need to look forward to- in Matthew 10:28 it says
"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.  Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."
I dunno what i'm trying to say, but God put that on my heart this weekend for some reason and it has really got me thinking. . .i guess i'll get back on that one- time to go write a speech-woo hoo!!
 
 

ok so i'm in a wretched mood, we just got back from 3 hrs of shopping and when i returned & turned my phone on i had 4 messages, that is more than 1 message an hr, and that irritates me- suppose i'm just sick of being around people who i know aren't my real friends and don't give 2 flips about what happens. . .i'm also tired of boys in general, so i'm not going to go on anymore dates this summer, even though i have a hard time of turning people down b/c i hate to hurt peoples feelings, but i guess sometimes it has to be done. . .i talked to mom again & she and i both think that this "being single" time is really good for me b/c there is still so much going on and w/ school starting again soon & rush (and Lord willing a pledgeship) there just isn't time in my life to work something else in. . .oh ya if anyone knows who A) slashed my tire and B) keyed my car, i'd be very happy to know who it is b/c their anger is costing me ALOT of $$, and it really hurts my feelings more than anything-i'm going to go study now and then go to sleep before 10 b/c i'm a dork who is tired and fed up-y'all have a good one!!!

side note-we saw a transvestite (i dunno how you spell it) and i've never seen one before- corrie said my eyes popped out of my head, my jaw dropped,i lost all color in my face and i RAN-it scared the living daylights outta me, i had not clue what to do or think, it was NASTY. . .but i got more pillows, pillow cases & this one-of-a-kind picture thingy. . .
 
erin c. had this and i really loved it-
 
Four Good Reasons for Difficult Times:
 
1.Sometimes things happen to show that the glory and power of God can be revealed in and through us.

2.God uses difficult time to purify us.

3.Sometimes misery is caused by discipline by God.

4.We are caught in the midst of the enemy's work.

sometimes i'm stupid and do stuff i know i shouldn't, but this really reminded me of where i need to be turning to, this is going to be a rough couple of weeks til school starts, but there is a reason and i just have to keep that in mind, even though its easier now to ignore it, it'll be better in the long run to face this stuff and get on with life

blah blah blah

ok so i forgot about this til this morning when i talked to emily and thus my memory was triggered. . .so life is starting to get boring, which isn't a bad thing but thats just how it goes. . .i'm really exhausted in every sort of way- so i have this new thing that i'm going to try: turning off my phone all day and only check my messages at lunch and at night,cell phones are over used and over-rated, plus if i don't want to talk to someone i won't feel bad if i don't answer their call- you can call it mean, but its gonna save me alot of stress. . .its a really pretty day in lbk today though, 90 degrees sunshiny and just a lil wind blowing, i'll prolly go running tonight to relive some energy & stress b/c Lord knows its built up, even though it stress' me out that i can't run as much as i'd like b/c of my tum-tum, but oh well. . .
i talked to mother today and i've started to realize how wonderful of a woman that she is, she has sacrificed so many things for me & preston, and in return we have been so unthankful, so i've started to call her everyday b/c i know how much she misses me (who wouldn't-HA)and i can hear the excitement in her voice when she answers the phone-God has really blessed me more than i ever have deserved w/ such a fabulous lady, i hope i can i live up to be as good of a mom as her. . .
i suppose thats all for now, it seems that i should be studying for my class & working on a speech i'm giving about traditions at texas tech. . .blah blah blah-such is life

ummm hmmm

So this idea came from Miss Emily Thurman. . .its thursday and i really am quite sick of going out,it is no longer "thrilling". . .maybe i'm just growing up. . .most of y'all would prolly say not. . .i watched about a boy (again) today, and i have a song that i LOVE from it- its called "file me away" and here are the lyrics-

File me away in your heart someday
You just be you
I'll be me ok

. . .thats all the words in the song-short,simple & sweet. . .ok i'm gonna go do something exciting, like put my towels in the dryer- i miss plano & wish i was there. . .but i'm still in love w/ LBK. . .